20 Nov Planning for Holiday Meals with a Picky Eater
Posted at 15:00h in Parenting
By Melanie Potock, MA, CCC-SLP
*This post was originally published on ASHA’s online blog. The original can be found here.
- Photo Credit: slightly everything via Compfight cc
- As an SLP focused on the treatment of pediatric feeding disorders, there is one common denominator among all the families on my caseload: The stress in their homes at mealtimes is palpable. Now that Thanksgiving and other food-centered holidays are approaching, the anticipation of an entire day focused on food has many parents agonizing over the possible outcomes when well-meaning relatives comment on their child’s selective eating or special diet secondary to food allergies/intolerances.This time of year, I try to find practical ways to reduce the stress for these families. One of the first steps in feeding therapy is for parents to lower their own stress level so that their child doesn’t feed into it (pardon the pun). I often address parent’s worries with a “What IF” scenario. I ask, “What’s your biggest fear about Thanksgiving?” The top 3 concerns are as follows:
What IF Junior won’t take a bite of Aunt Betty’s famous green bean casserole?
It’s not about the bite, it’s about wanting Aunt Betty’s approval. Focus on what Junior CAN do. If he can sprinkle the crispy onion straws on top of Betty’s casserole, call Betty ahead of time and ask if he can have that honor. Explain how you would love for him to learn to eventually enjoy the tradition of the green bean casserole and his feeding therapist is planning on addressing that skill in time. But, for now, she wants him to feel great about participating in the process of creating the green bean masterpiece. If Junior can’t bear to touch the food because he is tactile defensive, what can he do? Pick out the serving dish perhaps and escort Aunt Betty carrying the dish to the table? Taking the time to make Aunt Betty feel special by showing interest in her famous dish is all Betty and Junior need to feel connected.
What IF Grandpa Bob reprimands Junior for “wasting food” or not eating?
Keep portions presented on the plate quite small – a tablespoon is fine. Many families use ‘family-style” serving platters or buffet style, where everyone dishes up their own plate. Practice this at home. It’s not wasting food if Junior is practicing tolerating new foods on his plate. That food went to good use! If Grandpa Bob grew up during the Great Depression, this might be tough for him to understand. If he reprimands Junior, change the subject and tell Junior your proud of him for dishing up one whole brussel sprout! That requires some expert balancing and stupendous spoon skills!